Traffic Report? Howzabout a DOUCHEBAG report?????

Seriously.... I've pretty much structured my life... my total existence to AVOID traffic... as it tends to make me INSANE. What's even worse? DOUCHEBAGS. You know them. You've seen them. The IDIOTS that drive 10 to 15mph below the posted speed limit.

There have been a couple of note over the years. One... who I used to call "The Cimarron Man"... would drive his ancient and decrepit Cadillac Cimarron from The Dingmans Ferry Bridge to Newton NJ and never exceed 35mph... EXCEPT when he would get to a passing zone. Regularly would he have a train of in excess of 20 cars behind him by the time he got to Newton.

So here's what I want to hear on the radio: "This is Harold Krabbnabb in Chopper D and I'm over route 206 where there's a DOUCHBAG rolling along at 35mph in a 50mph zone. Y'all make sure to avoid the area or at least flip him the bird if you manage to pass...... as I can't get clearance to bomb him into oblivion from the F.A.A......

Yeah.. in a perfect world.....